Jokes in Top Web Directory

Online Games Zone

twdin — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 06:39:29 +0000

I had previously posted about the Gamr Arcade. Here is another Online gaming arcade where you can play Online Games.

Online Games Zone is a gaming arcade including free games from the following categories:

Action and Jump & Run Games
Sport – Sports Games
Fun & Joy Games
Classic & Retro Games
Shooting Games – Shooter Games
Puzzle & Mental Exercise Games
Skill & Ability Games
Strategy & Simulation Online Games
Racing & Motorsports Games
Casino & Popular Card Games

It’s all FREE and you can play them online, so you never need to install any programs on your personal computer at home or at work.

Play by yourself, match up against friends, colleagues or co-workers, just play our games online for free at Online-Games-Zone.com, where all they have are fun & free games that you never have to install, because you can play them everytime – day by night – online. Online-Games-Zone.com is one of the best place to play free online games – flash games. Your website against boredom. Take care and enjoy the free games.

Review Great Gamr Gaming Arcade

twdin — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 06:29:11 +0000

GreatGamr.com is a great gaming arcade with hundreds of games available. Games are sorted by Arcade, Adventure, Action, Puzzle, Shooting, Sports, Strategy and Miscellaneous. You can also view the latest games and the recently played games. The games are of good quality and enjoyable. You can register and become one of their top scorers. The games can be played free of cost and they have the following free games:

Free Action Games
Free Arcade Games
Free Adventure Games
Free Puzzle Games
Free Sports Games
Free Shooting Games
Free Other Games
Free Strategy Games

The games are free browser games and you will not need to download anything onto your computer which is the best advantage. Games can be searched and cheats are available too. They currently have 1302 games played ~44000 times by 892 registered users. It is truly a great site to utilize your time playing free games. Enjoy!

Story about Infinity

twdin — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 11:24:50 +0000

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number — room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them.

The Blonde Wife

twdin — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 11:17:31 +0000

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What’s the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Blonde Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his Blonde Wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!
Blonde Wife: Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his Blonde Wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Blonde Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma’am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Blonde Wife: No, only when he’s drunk.

Prison Versus Housewives

twdin — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 11:14:10 +0000

In prison, you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.

At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, all your medical care is free.

At home, you have to pawn your mother’s silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.

At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.

At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison, you get your own personal toilet.

At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.

In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.

At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.

In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.

At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.

At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t.

At home….stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

A dollar equals to 10 cents

twdin — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:12:41 +0000

Theorem: 1$ = 10 cent
Proof:
We know that $1 = 100 cents
Divide both sides by 100
$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents
=> $ 1/100 = 1 cent
Take square root both side
=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)
=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent
Multiply both side by 10
=> $1 = 10 cent

A True Blonde

twdin — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:12:40 +0000

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know – it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”

To this, the other blonde replies “I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her.”

Doctors Meet

twdin — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:09:11 +0000

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.

Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?”

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”

The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”

The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep a secret…”

You are a chicken

twdin — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 11:05:05 +0000

A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!”

The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?”

“Two years,” says the man.

“Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, “We needed the eggs.”

Don't say this to a Cop

twdin — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 11:00:30 +0000

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

18. Aren’t you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.

11. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?